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Jul
08

The Cookie Diet

I tested the Oatmeal Raisin “Dietary Supplement” (as the manufacturer termed it.) I’ll start with the positive. I have no doubt that you would lose weight on this diet….if you didn’t shoot yourself first!

As I stare at it and contemplate it, this little square thing sort of resembles a cookie…sort of. When you take a bite, it sort of tastes like an oatmeal raisin cookie…sort of. But then you start chewing.

The best term I can think of to describe the texture is sawdust. It is incredibly dry with some kind of crunch to it. Oh, there’s a raisin!  It’s like a little bitty oasis in the desert!   Better take a sip of water. Then I continue to chew–a lot. Second bite–more
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sawdust, more chewing, MORE WATER! After a couple more bites of this, I notice some kind of residue in the roof of my mouth. It resembles grease but isn’t quite the same as a grease feel or taste. More water!

After a couple more bites, I think that I am never going to be able to choke down the rest of this godforsaken cookie! Oh no! I drank all my water…must have more water!

A lump has formed in my throat. It reminds me of being a small child and having an extreme dislike of that dreadful sweet potato with the marshmallows on top thing that people serve at Thanksgiving. I’d get a lump in my throat and just getting down the obligatory two bites was almost more than a small child could bear! It feels like that…but the dreadful sweet potato thing is much preferable to this evaporated, dusty, parched, grimy crumble that is in my mouth!

Well, it’s worked. My hunger is curbed. I am definitely NOT this hungry! It did get me to drink a lot of water.  I went through two 16 ounce glasses of water to ingurgitate this one 1 1/2 inch cookie…before I considered regurgitating!
I felt that I should give it a second try.  This time I followed the “suggested serving” and microwaved it for 10 seconds.   It’s considerably better but that still isn’t saying it’s “good.”

How the diet works is this:  You eat 6 cookies spread out during a day and a healthy dinner of lean protein and non-starchy vegetables.   There are different flavors of cookies, shakes and cupcakes that are all manufactured by the same folks.   You’d need to have a variety to survive this diet….but if the shakes and cupcakes are as bad as the cookies, it would be another hellish diet.

The cookies are each 110 calories with 4 grams of fat…they’re skimming just over the line where it can’t be claimed as a low-fat food.   The cookies contain a proprietary formula of something called “Lethicin” which the ingredients are listed as “guar gum, gum arabic, locust bean gum (all of which are thickening agents to my understanding.)   There are also some other ingredients like pomegranate that are definitely good for you but included in the small amount of “Lethicin” I can’t imagine that there’s enough there to have any effect whatsoever!

On top of this, they evidently know their product tastes terrible!   The return policy is prohibitive.    You first have to call customer service to get authorization to return product and fill out a Refund Request Form and then return it by fax email or email.

They will not accept open boxes, so one box of the three that I ordered (I ordered the smallest amount possible) is not returnable.  I spent $59.   Take out approximately $20 for a box that wouldn’t be accepted for return.   Then there is a $35 re-stocking fee.   That adds up to $55 and the customer is responsible for the cost of shipping, so by that time, I’d be in the negative numbers.   Better off to sell the extra on eBay!

All things considered, this diet has very little merit.    It would probably work to some degree but you’d be miserable.   Also, you would not be changing any habits or learning how to eat foods with decent nutritional value.   Thumbs down!

Nutrisystem.com

1 comment

  1. Joann says:

    Delightful review. I don’t believe I will try this one!

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